


The Deadpool Talk

by extremisss



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, M/M, Sappy, Spideypool - Freeform, Superfamily (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2012-06-27
Packaged: 2018-01-18 18:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1437547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremisss/pseuds/extremisss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Steve notice that their teenage son Peter has been acting suspicious lately, so they ask SHIELD for help to find out. Spideypool, Superhusbands, Superfamily and very brief Clintasha.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Deadpool Talk

**Author's Note:**

> _Sorry if there's OOC and some mistakes (it's unbeta'd), besides this was written two years ago (holy smokes, it's old and I was such a noob) but decided to post it here since I just got an AO3 account, I don't even know what I'm doing, but I swear I have improved a little over two years. Hope you like it!_

 

“Steveeee!” Tony whined at his husband, who was in the kitchen cooking dinner.

  
“Tony” Steve rolled his eyes with a smile. “Come here, how is it?” He gave Tony a spoon with some tomato sauce. “Wow, this is great” Tony grinned in approval.  
“Great!” Steve grinned back. “Now, what is it?” He asked to his husband as he kept concentrated in dinner.

  
“Peter has been… acting suspicious lately…” Tony explained.

  
“Suspicious?” Steve gave him a surprised look.

  
“Yeah, he’s been getting back from school later, there is no news about spider-man and he has been in a very good mood, Steve…” Tony waited for Steve’s reaction.  
“Do you think Peter has a girlfriend?” Steve asked curiously, a bit relieved that there was nothing wrong with Peter.

  
“There’s only one way to find out, my Captain” Tony smirked maliciously.

  
“And that’s with?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

  
“SHIELD” Tony smiled pleased of his own idea.

  
“They don’t call you genius for nothing” Steve smiled; he knew already what Tony’s plan was.

~

It was a normal day for Peter Parker-Stark who woke up at the usual hour and got ready for school, as he usually did. He went downstairs to find his parents eating breakfast in the kitchen, just like any day.

  
“Hey dads” Peter greeted them with a smile as he grabbed a toast and some orange juice.

“Hey Petey, ready for school today?” Steve asked before taking a sip from his coffee.

“Uhm… yeah, why?” Peter asked curiously, his parents hadn't asked him that since he was 12.

“Oh, just in case anything happens today” Steve shook his head lightly, while Tony was trying to not smack the back of Steve’s head.

  
“Uhm… okay” Peter frowned as he took his schoolbag. “I’ve got to go now, I’ll see you guys later” He walked to the door.

“Bye, Petey! Have a nice day!” Tony waved at his son. Peter waved at him again and as soon he closed the door he shook his head. “Weird” He told himself before walking to school.

  
“Steve, you are so obvious and terrible at lying” Tony complained before taking a sip from his coffee.

  
“Sorry” Steve pouted playfully, making Tony’s heart melt.

  
“No problem, he hadn’t found out yet” Tony squeezed his hand comfortingly.

  
“Do you think he will get angry?” Steve asked curiously before taking a bite of his toast.

  
“He can’t stay angry forever, besides he’ll be alright” Tony shrugged and smiled at his husband, who smiled back at him feeling calmer.

~

“Hello there you handsome” Wade grabbed Peter by his waist and started nuzzling his neck outside of History Classroom.

  
“Wade!” Peter giggled at his boyfriend’s embrace. “Let’s go, class will start in a few minutes” Peter pulled Wade by his hand and walked into classroom where both of them sat at the end of it.

  
“Petey, yesterday’s Doctor Who episode was awesome! Have you seen that TV series yet? They are great!” Wade explained enthusiastically from his seat.

  
“You watch too much TV” Peter smiled reading his history book. “But I’ll watch it with you any day you want” He gave Wade a sweet smile that made the other teen blush.

  
Peter leaned forward to peck Wade but he couldn’t do it because he was interrupted by a man who cleared his throat in front of the class.

  
“Students, I’m your history teacher for today” The man stood there sheepishly, wearing a dark blue suit. All of them looked at him confused, but Peter’s jaw dropped. Uncle Agent was giving history class today with no special reason.

  
“Dads!” Peter muttered anxiously to himself as he blinked confused about what to do.

  
“Anything wrong, Petey?” Wade asked staring at him confused.

  
“Yeah, yeah! I’m great, there’s nothing wrong Wade!” Peter smiled nervously. Wade just shrugged and smiled.

  
“My name is Phillip Coulson” Coulson wrote on the board and then turned to the students. “Any questions?” He asked with a smile.

“What happened to Mr. Suarez?” Wade asked loudly.

“Your history teacher has a fever, but he’ll be back tomorrow just as if nothing had happened, he’s completely well and nothing mysterious happened to him” Coulson explained gently and then gave Peter an innocent smile, that made him place both of his arms over his desk and hide his face in them.

  
“Anything wrong, Mr. Stark?” Coulson asked him.

  
“No, no! I’m great professor!” Peter gave him a fake smile and Coulson just nodded. “If there’s anything you need, just ask” Coulson smiled and then turned to write a diagram on the board.

  
Peter couldn’t concentrate, since his dads had sent a friend to check on him at school, and he got more stressed when Wade squeezed his free hand gently.

  
“And then the French lost against the Germans. Any question?” He turned and some students asked him; He answered gently and giving almost perfect answers, like he had studied all night long for giving that class. Peter pushed away Wade’s hand, he didn’t want to be caught showing affection to the ‘Undesirable #1’, and Wade just frowned confused.

  
The bell rang, much for Peter’s relief, and he stood up as fast as he could. “No homework! Have a nice day!” Coulson told them and waved goodbye at Peter, who waved back awkwardly and then left the classroom almost running, followed by Wade.

“Hey, Pete, that teacher knew your name before you had told him” Wade told him, as he pulled out his math book from his locker.

“Yeah, maybe he knows my dads, or something” Peter just shrugged, hiding the truth from Wade.

“Or maybe he’s psychic” Wade grinned.

  
“Wade, what the hell” Peter chuckled. He was feeling more relaxed since there was no Uncle Coulson around anymore. “You are creative” He smiled and leaned forward to kiss

Wade, but he couldn’t do it because a janitor pushed them away from each other.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I tripped with the mop!” The man explained.

“Yeah, sure, no prob” Wade smiled and then turned back at Peter, who was shocked at what he had seen. The man who swept clumsily all around was his Uncle Clint; he turned to look at Peter and waved at him with a smile.

“Do you know him?” Wade asked curiously.

“Uhm… yeah! This guy helped me when I lost my science book” Peter coughed slightly, wishing to disappear from earth in that moment as he hid his face into his locker.

“Petey, are you all right?” Wade asked him, pulling him into a hug. Pete noticed that Clint was still around and pushed Wade away gently.

“Actually, I am! I’ve got a headache, I’ll go with the school’s nurse, I’m sorry for not going to math with you! Tell Mr. Turner that I’m feeling sick! I’ll see you at lunch, love you!” Peter babbled and went almost running with the nurse, leaving a very puzzled Wade standing alone.

~  
  
Peter walked into the school’s infirmary. The Nurse was busy with another patient, so Peter decided to calm himself down by sipping some water from the drinking fountain, and then waited for his turn. A red haired boy walked out and then Peter walked in.

  
“Hello, there” a female voice greeted him and Peter’s heart almost jumped out of his chest. His Aunt Natasha was stacking some medicine boxes; she was wearing a very nice nurse outfit.

  
“Petey!” She turned and kissed his cheek. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?” She asked concerned as she placed her hand on Peter’s forehead.

  
“No, no! Aunt Nat, I’m fine!” Peter shook his head. “But why is everyone in here?” He whined frustrated as he sat on the bed and covered his face with his hands.

  
“I’m afraid that I can’t tell you that, Peter” Natasha told him expressionless as she checked Peter’s eyes and ears with a lamp.

“Does this have to do with my dads?” Peter asked.

  
“Yup, open big please” Natasha demanded him as she checked his throat. “You are completely well, Peter” She rubbed his shoulder with a smile.  
“Thanks?” Peter grimaced. “And what happened to nurse Collins?” he asked her.

  
“Everyone is okay and safe, don’t worry Petey, they won’t remember any of this” She smiled kindly.

  
“Does this have to do with Cognitive Re-calibration?” He asked wide eyed.

  
“Not at all, sweetheart! Don’t worry about that!” Natasha chuckled. Peter bit his lip still stressed.

  
“Maybe you are hungry, why don’t you go to the cafeteria? Your lunchtime started five minutes ago” Natasha told Peter, looking at the clock on the wall.

  
“Oh! Lunchtime! I forgot! Thanks aunt Nat!” He didn’t know why he thanked her, but he rushed to the cafeteria, almost tripping over his uncle Clint who was standing outside the infirmary.

  
“Sorry Uncle Clint!” Peter told him before running to the cafeteria, slipping a little.

  
“Wet floor! Be careful!” Clint told him and Natasha walked out to greet him. “What’s wrong with him?” Clint asked her.

“He’s uncomfortable with this, Tony’s ideas” Natasha explained crossing her arms. “Looking good, Nat” Clint smiled seductively, leaning his chin on the mop’s stick. “Stop it, Clint” Natasha pushed him playfully rolling her eyes. “You look hilarious as a janitor” She giggled and Clint snorted smiling at her.

~

Peter walked into the cafeteria and looked for Wade who was waiting for him sitting with Scott Summers and Jean Grey. When Wade noticed that his boyfriend had walked in, he waved at his friends and walked to kiss his cheek.

“Hey, Petey, everything okay?” Wade asked him stroking his cheek with his thumb. “Yeah, I’m feeling better now” Peter gave him a little smile. “Let’s get something to eat, I’m starving” Peter told him pulling him to get some food.

  
When Peter grabbed his tray, Wade gave him his favorite orange juice and Peter smiled at him, taking a sip of it, but he choked when he noticed that instead of the cafeteria ladies, there stood his Uncle Thor and his Uncle Bruce; Both of them were wearing nets on their hair and aprons, Peter thought they looked funny and would've laughed but the situation was not funny at all. Thor served food enthusiastically while Bruce seemed uneasy with all of this.

“Hello, there, dear nephew!” Thor greeted him loudly.

“Hi, Uncle Thor? Uncle Bruce?” Peter waved at them, and Bruce waved back awkwardly.

“Captain Rogers told me to give you your favorite shawarma!” He handed Peter a dish with shawarma, and Peter just nodded and waited impatiently for Wade.

  
“Hey! You are those Avengers guys that work with Peter’s dads!” Wade told Thor and Bruce excited.

“And who might you be young midgardian?” Thor asked with a grin as he handed Wade a huge plate of tacos.

“I’m Peter’s bo…” Peter covered Wade’s mouth with his hand. “Wadey, let’s get some dessert from there, come on! Bye Uncle Thor, Uncle Bruce!” Peter told him nervously pulling his boyfriend away from them.

  
“Peter, why are your uncles here?” Wade asked obliviously as he grabbed a pudding.

  
“Well… They haven’t gotten missions, so they think that helping at school is fun” Peter lied nervously.

“That’s pretty cool” Wade grinned as they walked to sit with Scott and Jean.

During lunch Peter felt a bit calmer, as Wade held his hand in his cheek and kissed the top of it tenderly during the conversation. Suddenly Peter noticed that his uncles were trying to find him from where they stood and pushed Wade lightly.

“I-I think I’ve noticed Harry over there, I have to go talk to him about a project, be right back!” Peter stood and walked to his best friend. Wade pouted; he never told Peter that he didn’t like Harry because he made him jealous. He sat with Jean and Scott until the bell rang and he walked to Peter again. Peter just squeezed his shoulder as they walked to their next class, Wade gave him a small smile but he seemed down.

They walked past Clint and Natasha, who didn’t pay attention to them because Clint was trying to flirt with her.

  
Peter noticed that Wade seemed a bit sad. “Wade… what if, we skip class?” Peter asked him blushing, making Wade stare at him wide-eyed.

  
“Okay, that’s so not you! Peter Parker skipping class?” Wade asked confused and Peter just nodded. “Okay, then!” He grinned and pulled Peter by his wrist to the library.

~

When they walked into the library Peter noticed that the librarian was Maria Hill. “Gosh, they are everywhere” Peter whispered to himself as he sat out of her sight with Wade.

“Did you say something?” Wade asked him.

  
“Oh, no no! just… it’s been a tiring day.” Peter lied to him again. Wade just shrugged.

  
“Hey, did you notice that the new librarian looks like Robin from HIMYM? Let’s go to see her again, have you seen those series? They’re-“ Wade started but Peter cut him off.

  
“No, Wade! It’s better in here, you know, we might get in trouble” Peter pulled him back almost hysterical.

  
“Peter, what the hell? You’ve been acting weird ALL DAY!” Wade let out with a whine. “Can you explain me what’s going on in your spidey head? And why are your uncles in here? And why did you feel sick earlier?” Wade bombed him with questions.

  
“Wade, Wade, Wade! Ok I’ll tell you!” Peter answered nervously. “My parents don’t know that we are dating, so they sent SHIELD agents for checking me, please don’t get angry! I’m so sorry, they’re so weird sometimes” Peter babbled but Wade placed his hand on his mouth.

  
“Petey, I’m not angry at all! Your parents are so awesome, although they don’t like me; and yeah, they can be really overprotective sometimes, but I think it’s cute. You could have told me earlier, you had me concerned all day!” Wade told him with a sweet smile that made Peter melt.

  
“Thanks Wade, I’m so sorry… I’m an idiot sometimes.” Peter blushed staring down.

  
“Yes, you are” Wade nodded making Peter chuckle. “But I don’t care, I still love you” He grinned and Peter wrapped his arms around his neck for pulling him into a deep kiss.

“Thanks Wade, love you too” Peter smiled at him.  
  
The rest of their classes they stayed in there; Wade fell asleep while Peter was reading a science book, listening to Wade’s soft snores with a smile.  
  
~

Tony stood in his lab working on his screens while Steve sat on a couch, doing some sketches of the lab and his husband.

  
Suddenly they heard soft footsteps and Peter walked into the lab.

  
“YOU! AND YOU!” Peter pointed an accusatory finger to each one.

  
“Sorry Peter!” Steve shrugged with a grin, he didn't seem sorry at all. 

  
Tony turned and stared at him raising an eyebrow. “Wade Winston Wilson, also known as ‘The Deadpool’… Really Peter?!” Tony frowned at him in disapproval, as Peter noticed that in the screens they found EVERYTHING about Wade. 

  
“DAAADS!! WHYYYY!!” Peter whined, almost dropping on the floor in frustration.

  
“Listen Peter…” Tony started but Peter interrupted. “Dad! Why are you a freak? You’re so overprotective! You make embarrassed!” Peter explained, placing both of his hands over his face.

“I’m not overprotective, I’m a responsible father…” Tony trailed off.  
  
Meanwhile, Steve sat on the couch; He shook his head with a smile and started sketching the discussion between his overprotective husband and his frustrated son. He decided to name the drawing ‘The Deadpool Talk’.


End file.
